More G.I. Skepticism

The trailer is now online for G.I. Joe and while it will still probably be this summer's biggest disaster, it does have two things going for it:

1. Snake Eyes is still cool, no matter if he's being directed by--argh!-- Stephen Sommers. (Yes, we're still thanking him for Van Helsing. No, we're not letting it go.)

2. They melted the Eiffel Tower. Dude... That just might be worth it. C'mon, when's the last time you seen that happen?!

(Without LCD.)

Slip yourself a tab of...whatever floats your boat...and check it out for yourself:
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=52443

Word Association

Carl Hiaasen, author of such classic Florida crime thrillers like Striptease, Stormy Weather, and Skinny Dip, has a new novel out this season, and it's geared towards young adult readers. (You know, instead of old adult readers.) It's about two students who investigate the disappearance of their biology teacher.

Here's the cover, but pay special notice to the title:

I'm sorry, but that's just wrong. I don't care if the word could mean other things and I don't care if there's a drawing of an angry feline. Just the guilt by association, you know?

Scat...

Okay, maybe I'm just f***ed up.

Yo-- Whoa!

They (you know, the powers that be that control the manner in which we look forward to summer action flicks) released a batch of new posters for G.I. Joe. Check the women out first.

Are we seeing a pattern? And the shots are not of just the female characters.

How's that for marketing? Tits, asses, and crotches...

IN
YOUR
FACE!!!

With this kinda selling, hopefully the inevitable batch of movie tie-in toys are anatomically correct.

Once-- Over!!!

I always thought Once was too precious for it's own good, so imagine my sociopathic joy at learning that the film's couple, Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová broke up in real life. All together now: awww...

Who knows, maybe now I'll have a bit more appreciation of the flick's latent poignancy the next time I see it. What? Next time I see it?! If I can bring myself to sit through that giant over-rated sugar lick. (Seriously, the songs would've been dismissed as emo pap if it wasn't set in Dublin. If Dashboard Confessional did the same songs? No Oscar.)

R.I.P.

"Movies are to blame, for stealing a lot of the novel's thunder. Why read a novel when in two hours you can just go passively sit and be dazzled and amazed and terrified? Television is to blame, especially because it's come into the home. It's brought the fascination of the flickering image right into the house; like turning on a faucet, you can have it whenever you want. I was a movie addict, but you could only see so many movies in the course of a week. I still had a lot of time to read, and so did other people. But I think television would take all your day if you let it. Now we have these cultural developments on the Internet, and online, and the computer offering itself as a cultural tool, as a tool of distributing not just information but arts -- and who knows what inroads will be made there into the world of the book."
--John Updike, March 18, 1932 - January 27, 2009

Yes I Did!

I thought I was impervious to Inauguration Fever, but at the comic shop I picked up The Amazing Spider-Man #583. Supposedly Spider-Man saves Obama and prevents grave danger at the inauguration. I say "supposedly" because I haven't opened it and probably will never open it.

Yeah, you see that little white rectangle in the upper right corner? That's the price tag. $30. Yes, that's right. Thirty. Dollars.

And it's the second printing no less. Only after I handed over my credit card did I find out there will be a third printing next week. Maybe I'll purchase and open that one.

I know... Sucker.

Apparently the first printing is going for over $100.

For now, maybe I'll find a place to display the mag next to my action figures.

You have no idea what a Presidential mess it is here at the Batcave.

Obama Poetry

Here we go with the requisite Obama Inauguration Fever post. But while our new Commander-in-Chief and Beyonce are getting all the attention, here is the poem poor Elizabeth Alexander recited, following the man himself:

Praise song for the day.

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others' eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair.

Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer considers the changing sky; A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."

We encounter each other in words, words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; words to consider, reconsider.

We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, "I need to see what's on the other side; I know there's something better down the road."

We need to find a place where we are safe; We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by "Love thy neighbor as thy self."

Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light.

Idol Musings

Oh American Idol, how I've missed you.

I know I'm gonna eat these words very soon. There always comes a point with these painfully long audition shows where I swear that I'll only begin watching from the point of actual competition, but as per the annual habit, I just can't stay away. And four hours worth later, I'm still suckered on it.

During the first five minutes of the new season, right when I was about to patronizingly ask myself why I watch these dumb early episodes, I lost my f---ing mind when the screen went black. Joe Moore said there was some mysterious technical issues. Err... Kinda like HECO; it always happens and they're never prepared. (Last season, if I had a nickel for every time I was cheated of seeing Archuleta in HD... Oh don't look at me like that. He's slow-learner awesomeness!)

Still, that night, I was most fascinated by the first ten minutes of the TV show that followed KHON's charitable re-broadcast of AI's missing 30 minutes. Punishum Motorsports is a local show that seems to be a strange mix between the glorifying The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and the more cautionary, yet headily exploitative, Cops. Is it for or against street racing?

All I know is, I want to add an apostrophe somewhere in that title. I'm just not sure where yet.

The Great Blackout of...09?

When the entire state shuts down due to...wind, you know nobody trusts HECO. You know? Like...just in case and all...

Not that I'm complaining about a FOUR DAY WEEKEND! Whoo-hoo! Snow day!!!

Presidential Firsts

With inauguration fever going full blast, poor Cherry Jones isn't getting much props for her first term as President on 24. And not only is she our first female President (since... well... Geena Davis), she's our first lesbian Commander-in-Chief! (Go ahead, wiki it.)

Awesome!

Recession

Is Neil Patrick Harris balding or does he just have a big forehead?

WoW?

Is it just me or does the teaser poster for the Transformers sequel look like a promo for World of Warcraft?

The Return of Rourke!

For Iron Man 2, rumors are swirling that Sam Rockwell is gonna play Justin Hammer, Tony Stark's rival, who funds super-villains. And in the coolest bit of news, Mickey Rourke is gonna be either Whiplash or Crimson Dynamo.




Is it just me or do these casting decisions sound like a variation of the conflict structure of the first movie? I mean, in the first movie, Jeff Bridges basically funded himself to be a supervillain and here, it sounds like more of the same, right? C'mon, let's bring on the Mandarin! Or are they saving him for the third movie?



Not that I'm not thrilled to death that Mickey Rourke could be in a big-ass superhero movie. I still haven't seen The Wrestler, but 9 1/2 Weeks, Wild Orchid, and Angel Heart are all-time classics of awesome-ness. And he kicked all around butt in Year of the Dragon. Heck, I'm the only person on the planet who loved Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.

Now that I think about it, he would've made a cool Venom. Screw you, Topher!

Raaaain!!!

Although it seems like the hip thing to do is hate on the Wachowskis right now, this footage of Korean pop star Rain in training for their next production, Ninja Assassin, looks pretty darn cool. Lots of knee-sliding fun!

Is J. Cameron Mad?

Now I like robots just as much as the next geek, but is it just me or do some of these toys from Terminator: Salvation make the movie look sucky cheese? James is probably fuming.

Import Smokes

Tasty "Nuts" Menthol.

Speaks for itself, huh?